Discover yourself
Journey to Your Inner Self
Recognize Your Light
This is a journey into your inner self to rediscover yourself, to find the light you’ve forgotten to let shine, the light you’ve hidden over time until you forget it exists. The light that is always within you, that sometimes flickers, but then you listen to others, you listen to your reason, and the light goes out.
Who am I?
This is the question you have to ask yourself to find again the girl or young woman who laughed, carefree, simply lived, dreamed, and had a special talent, something she did effortlessly and that excited her, that she was passionate about. That is your essence. Rediscover yourself, remember who you were before.
We lose that essence when we begin to “grow up,” to take on responsibilities according to what society expects of us. We become the role assigned to us: the good daughter our parents should be proud of, the best girlfriend, the best mother, the employee of the month or best employee of the year, the best colleague, the best boss, the best businesswoman… We dedicate ourselves to satisfying everyone and then we put ourselves aside. Do you think so? Do you really feel so satisfied with yourself in every aspect of your life that nothing and no one can move you from your pedestal? If your answer is no, I invite you to continue reading. The goal is to shine on your pedestal, 24/7, in every aspect of your life, because I assure you and confirm that you deserve it. Nothing and no one can take you from there, so let’s work to finally achieve that goal.
In the talks I give, I talk in detail about these aspects. The message here is: dedicate at least five minutes a day to yourself and ask yourself: Who am I? What do I want now? What do I like? And listen to the first answer you feel! Your intuition is never wrong; in fact, it knows what’s best for you. You don’t have to explain anything to anyone, or listen to the opposing views, either from your own mind or from other people. Forget all the criticism you received as a child and young adult. Only you know who you are. It’s time to finally listen to yourself. Decide for yourself.
Listen to your inner self
How do I feel?
To reach awareness of the essence of my being, I must listen to my inner self.
And I do that in that moment when I ask myself this question: How do I feel? How do I feel at this very moment? Only the precise moment in which I’m asking myself that question counts. If, for example, I’m feeling happy, enthusiastic, satisfied, light, calm, etc., then I ask myself, “Why?” And the answer will always have reference to me. That is, we usually think: I feel satisfied because my client has accepted my proposal. However, the truth is: I feel satisfied because I feel accepted by my client. What that would mean is, if the client hadn’t accepted my proposal, I would feel disappointed. So the next question is: Do I really want my mood (my satisfaction, in this case) to depend on a client? Do I really want to give that power to my client? Can my client influence my emotions that much? Do I really want that? The goal is: I feel satisfied with the great idea and proposal I’ve worked on for the client, and whether they accept it or not doesn’t change the feeling of satisfaction I have with the work I’ve done. That should be the answer to the question, “Why do I feel this way?” Because every feeling comes from within me, so I can decide how to deal with those feelings and not give power over them to anyone else.
I know very well that this goal isn’t easy. Our minds start to put a lot of “buts,” giving the client, partner, children, etc. the right and the power, making us emotionally dependent on that other person. We’re dependent on everyone; if they’re not “happy with us,” we feel “guilty,” “we need to improve,” “we’re doing something wrong.” All of these thoughts take us off the pedestal we deserve, obscuring the light in our own eyes. We have those thoughts; no one forces us to think that way; we take ourselves off our pedestals.
So the third question is: Do I really want that? I certainly don’t.
Decide for yourself, in each moment, because you are not the same now as you were before reading this section. Every moment counts.
Really perceive yourself
How do I look?
Perception is unique to each individual.
People perceive the same situation, the same words, in very different ways. That’s why it’s important: How do I perceive myself? It’s not what others see or say about me that matters, but how I see myself.
My thoughts define my reality. My thoughts must be stronger than the opinions of others. What I think about myself will either take me to the next stage or hold me back or sink me into the role of victim.
We are what we think.
The way I see myself also depends on the perspective I have.
Thinking positively:
How do I make the best of the situation? What is this teaching me? It’s a better alternative to complaining and cursing the situation.
Focusing on the moment allows us to better understand the situation and not get lost in negative thoughts.
The right questions direct our attention to where we want it.
How do I see myself? How do I talk to myself? Do I believe and feel it in my heart, or am I lying to myself? For example, in the morning in front of the mirror, do I see my wrinkles, do I feel my age weighing on me, and do I hide my extra pounds? Or do I smile at myself and rejoice in the experience I’m having, and am I excited to find clothes that make me look radiant? And if I really notice that I have more pounds than I want (note: the ones I want, not because others say so), then I make decisions for myself and for me: for example, with a nutritional and exercise plan. I see it as a challenge, not a problem.
Always think positively, always “I can do it,” because you really have been able to accomplish everything you’ve decided to do. Smile proudly, showing off your experience and confidence. Others see us as we see ourselves.
Decide for yourself
What do I decide?
All the questions presented help us on this journey to rediscover our light.
And if you’re in the situation I was in years ago, you probably think this isn’t going anywhere, that it’s not possible to simply think about myself and take time for these things. So here’s my last question: How many times have you made a decision at work, even though your colleagues, your team, or your boss didn’t quite agree, and you made the decision and were more than admired for it? You, who have made a professional career, have made many decisions for work, and that’s why you are where you are now.
So,
Why not decide for yourself?
A “I would like,” “I want,” or “I’m going to tomorrow” is very different from a decision.
Once a decision is made, nothing can break it. You know very well what I’m talking about. A decision doesn’t change, even if the weather turns bad and the sun doesn’t shine, even if others complain, even if old thoughts come back to you. A decision made is unshakeable. You must follow that same method when you decide for yourself.
The year my dad died, I thought I’d made the decision for myself, and I took the first steps toward a change. However, there were still many “buts”: “but work,” “but my daughters,” “but I can’t leave that like that.” Over the years, I’ve learned to say “No.” And I mean even the small “Nos.” “No” at work, “No” to my partner, “No” to perfection, even “No” to my daughters. And what happened after the “No”? Well, I got a promotion at work, my daughters understand me better because they really know me now (I no longer pretend to be the do-it-all mom), and overall, I have more time for myself.
The most important thing: saying “No” in a calm and relaxed tone is a decision you make, not a “No” from anger and carried away by emotion without thinking, that’s not what I mean.
Start with 5 minutes a day for yourself—to breathe, to feel, to acknowledge yourself. Then, move on to 10 minutes, then to action (devote yourself to your hobbies, to indulge yourself, to fulfilling dreams (even the smallest ones)).
“I don’t have time” is just an excuse, because if I really decide, of course I’ll find time. Surely when something “urgent” or “important” comes up at work, you’re the first one who offers to work on it—there’s always time for that, right? So, decide for yourself, take your time, and take your place. That means saying “No” with love to others at the appropriate time. I know very well that this seems impossible, but I assure you it’s possible and very important, and even if you don’t believe it, after saying “No,” you will be more valued than before. A “No” to others is a “Yes” to yourself. A “Yes” to yourself is a sign of self-love. If you show the world that you love yourself, the world will instinctively love you. And because you love yourself, you shine so brightly that that brilliance will spread to those around you.
