We believe control is essential in our lives. We’ve been taught, “Confirming is good, but controlling is better.” This control focuses us on the outside, on others, on the idea that everything has to be as expected, “as it should be.” And so we spend minutes, hours, days, months, and years controlling. We forget about ourselves; we lose ourselves in anguish, anxiety, stress, fear. Because control is only the result of fear: fear of losing. Losing face in front of colleagues or clients, losing in relationships, losing our children, losing what we have, losing some unique experience.
And what really happens is, filled with fear, anxiety, and stress, we end up losing ourselves and losing exactly what we were trying to maintain, to control.
The key to a full, happy and peaceful life is to let go.
And for those who say, “If I don’t control things at work or with my children, everything will fall apart,” letting go truly means letting go and discovering what’s happening, the good and admirable things we didn’t expect. Things definitely won’t turn out the way we expected, and if we continue to believe that only how we expect them is the only correct and perfect way for everything to turn out well, then we’re not letting go. Letting go means no longer controlling and, furthermore, no longer expecting what we were expecting. The result of letting go will be something unexpected, and we must allow ourselves to be surprised, to see the new and beautiful in it. For example, maybe we discover a new talent from a colleague, or a client’s secret, we finally admire our partner’s unusual way of raising children, or a special way of surprising us, or our children surprise us with new talents or experiences, unforgettable experiences. Not only do we finally focus on ourselves because we’re not in control, but we also finally let others be who they are, and that’s how they surprise us.
Letting go gives us freedom, peace, and inner happiness. Our peace is non-negotiable. Don’t wait any longer, don’t control any longer. Start living fully, start being yourself, and let others be.
